Scammers are really getting meta- these days; it seems people have received phone calls, allegedly from the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), informing them that they have won a large cash prize in a sweepstakes.

Among other duties, the FTC normally tries to protect consumers from scams. I guess the victims are supposed to think, “Well, surely if this call’s from the FTC, it’s legitimate.” Never mind the years of warnings that all begin with, “No matter who a caller claims to be…”

Naturally, the victim is told they have to pay taxes and fees up front by wiring between $1,000 and $10,000 to someone. So it’s a standard-issue sweepstakes scheme.

Folks, you can argue about whether different government agencies waste money or not until you’re blue in the face, but I can assure you of a couple things:

1. The FTC isn’t running a sweepstakes and does not give away cash prizes.
2. The FTC has never given away cash prizes (unless “giving away cash prizes” actually means “nailing rogue debt collection agencies to the wall” in some obscure regional dialect, which it doesn’t).
3. The FTC is never going to run a sweepstakes. Or give away (say it with me) cash prizes.
4. Whenever you do hear about a government agency giving a person or organization money for something, those aren’t sweepstakes prizes, and it’s not a random selection process. Those are grants, and the recipients had to apply for them. It’s a vastly different thing.

Also, you’d do well to remember this little nugget: it doesn’t matter if a caller claims to be from the FTC, the FBI, the ATF, Microsoft, Canada, or your Aunt Tilly, if they’re saying you won a sweepstakes you never entered and asking you to pay money up front before receiving the prize, they’re running a scam.

I haven’t run into an exception to that rule yet.