I recently began tracking stats for this website again after a long stretch of not doing so. I hadn’t really been posting new articles very often, and when the program that I was using to track page views and the number of site visitors stopped functioning for whatever reason, I didn’t bother looking for a replacement.
This year, however, I started posting more regularly, and decided it was time to find a new stats plugin so I could at least see if I was putting out something of value. I got it all set up in early March, and recently I noticed that an article I wrote in 2009 about a certain email hoax was suddenly getting about ten times the usual daily traffic for the entire site. That could only mean one thing: it’s baaaaack.
This email chain letter hoax is a bona fide antique, dating back to at least 1999: forward this email and Bill Gates from Microsoft will give you something like $241 for each person you forward it to. It was supposed to have something to do with AOL and Intel, neither of which are affiliated with Microsoft.
Since this hoax is making the rounds again, I felt it was time to revisit the topic: Bill Gates is not giving away huge amounts of money to random people just for forwarding emails. For one thing, Microsoft doesn’t track every email sent. For another, would you? You do know how people get rich, right? Trade secret: it doesn’t involve giving millions in free money away to random strangers in return for nothing.
(I also wanted to write an update because the 2009 article is so chock full of bad jokes and this corny shtick that…it’s like I’m wearing suspenders and a bowtie, and there’s a guy with a snare drum and a crash cymbal doing rimshots after every ‘joke,’ and then I end by juggling on a unicycle. Corny.)
Anyway, the full, error-ridden text of this ancient email hoax is here:
THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USA TODAY – IT IS FOR REAL
Subject: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news!
To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, But this is from my good friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney.
If she says that this will work – It will work. After all, What have you got to lose? SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I’m an attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago.
Dear Friends; Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later. Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.
When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it ( If you are a Microsoft Windows user) For a two weeks time period.
For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.
thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and withindays, I receive a check for $24,800.00. You need to respond before the beta testing is over. If anyone can affoard this, Bill gates is the man.
It’s all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.00. We’re not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time. My brother’s girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When i went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped “Paid in full”
Like i said before, I know the law, and this is for real.
Intel and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them the largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that AOL remains the most widely used program, Intel and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.
When you forward this e-mail to friends, Intel can and will track it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.
Yep. It was a hoax in 1999, just like it was a hoax in 2009, and just like it’s still a hoax in 2017 and will be forever. If you get it, don’t believe a word of it. Don’t forward it “just in case” or because “it doesn’t hurt to try.” Delete it, and let whoever forwarded it to you know that it is a hoax.
Don’t let ‘em coax
You with a hoax, blokes
Make one keystroke:
Hit ‘delete,’ folks.