I can’t believe this ancient chain email is still going around. After how many years of widespread Internet use, people are still falling for these things?
I feel the same way I felt when I found out Survivor had been picked up for a 20th season: Who is responsible for this? Aren’t we all smart enough to ignore this yet?
Here’s the text, along with a few comments (bold italicized text):
—– Original Message —–
Subject: PLLLLEEEAAASSSSEEE REEEAAADDD! IT WAS ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA TODAY!
IIIIIIIIIII DOOOOOOOOONNNNNN’T WANNNNNNNNA!
Couldn’t hurt to try.
Unless you consider “wasting a few hours and looking like a doofus” hurtful. Which I do.
Ok guys, my lawyer’s paralegal sent this one to me and if it doesn’t work, they are aware that we all will be coming to visit them for a law suit for false advertisement! J
THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USA TODAY – IT IS FOR REAL
Tuesday of what week of what year, please? When you’re going to cite a textual source, you need to include this information.
To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, But this is from my friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney.
I thought your attorney’s paralegal sent it to you. You just said that a second ago.
If she says that this will work – It will work. After all, What have you got to lose?
SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I’m an attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long a go.
When one corporate entity sues another corporate entity, I don’t think it’s called a “class action” lawsuit. Anyone who knows the law would know that. I don’t know the law, and I know that.
Dear Friends: Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later …
Bill Gates is not sharing his fortune with anyone in anything other than a tax-deductible way. Whoever wrote this hasn’t the foggiest clue as to how wealthy people do business. “Repent” is an awfully religious-sounding word to use in this context, too. Will you have to confess to a priest if you don’t do it?
Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.
Microsoft doesn’t own AOL, nor are they affiliated with Intel (mentioned previously). They don’t make money from email anyway, they make money from advertising and cutting into Google’s dominance of the “search” business. Besides, Explorer is a web browser, not an email client.
When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (If you are a Microsoft Windows user) For a two weeks time period.
What if you use Windows, but use a web-based client like Yahoo! or Gmail? What if you use Windows, but a non-Microsoft client like Eudora?
For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.
Wow, those are all uneven numbers, so it must be real, right? If it was $250 it would totally look like a hoax.
Regards. Charles S Bailey General Manager Field Operations
1-800-842-2332 Ext.. 1085 or 904-1085 or RNX 292-1085
I am so tempted to call these numbers.
Thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and within days, I received a check for $24,800.00.You need to respond before the beta testing is over. If anyone can afford this, Bill gates is the man.
Microsoft is and has been a corporation for many years, not Bill Gates’s personal piggy bank. They have a board of directors, shareholders and the whole nine yards. It’s a simplistic, ignorant view of business to think that Gates just gets to spend the company’s money however he wants to.
It’s all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as possible. You are bound to get at least $10, 000.00
We’re not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time.. My brother’s girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When I went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game, she showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4, 324.44 and was stamped ‘Paid In Full’
Wait, I though the “beta testing” was only for two weeks. If somebody “got in on this a few months ago,” isn’t it already over? Plus, they don’t stamp checks “Paid In Full.” That’s loan documents and invoices. Plus, if she’d cashed it, how did she still have the check in her hands?
So, it doesn’t quite stand up to scrutiny. At all.
What I don’t understand (beyond “why are people still forwarding this?”) is—why do people create these things in the first place?
I mean (Devil’s advocate time), I can understand why someone would create a Secret Shopper scam; you can make a pile of ill-gotten cash that way. I can see why someone would create one of the old postal chain letter pyramid schemes; again, you can steal a lot of money that way.
But to create a chain email just for the sake of creating a hoax? I don’t get it. I suppose there could be a couple explanations as to why you would do it:
- You’ve got some weird idea about becoming famous, and this is the best plan you could come up with
- You think everybody (but you) is a gullible idiot, and are going to prove it by creating an email hoax
- You’re an idiot.
Beyond that, I can’t think of a reason to start one of these things.
I can also think of exactly zero reasons why you’d forward one of these stupid messages. So please, don’t do it.
For that matter, please stop watching Survivor, too. I know, I know; “if you don’t like it, just don’t watch it.” I don’t. But it just bugs me knowing that it’s still out there. Plus, it’s taking up time on The Soup that could be better used to rip on Spencer Pratt or Lindsay Lohan.