Let’s kick off the long weekend with a derpy lottery scam

Many of us (here in the States, anyway) will spend today looking forward to a nice three-day weekend, visions of grilled meat, open-wheel race cars and (if you’re like me) binge-watching the entire fourth season of Arrested Development on Netflix dancing in their heads.

Seems like a good time for a “fun” sort of post, so let’s snark at a bad lottery scam email I received this morning:

From: [redacted]@co.pg.md.us
Subject: ! Are You Aware!!

Your email has been announced the winner of the Microsoft E-mail Sweepstakes of 5.6, Million Pounds. Please send these informations:
Full Name:
Address:
Tel / Mobile No.:
Country:
Occupation:
Sex / Age:
Alternative E-mail:
Contact Mrs. Kathrin Rogers: { Kath.rogers@msn.com<mailto:kath.rogers@msn.com> } OR { Kath.rogers@rogers.com<mailto:kath.rogers@rogers.com> } with details. Sincerely, Josphine B. Clay
(Microsoft Management Board, Copyright 1991-2013)

—————————————————————————————

This E-mail and any of its attachments may contain Prince George’s
County Government or Prince George’s County 7th Judicial Circuit
Court proprietary information or Protected Health Information,
which is privileged and confidential. This E-mail is intended
solely for the use of the individual or entity to which it is
addressed. If you are not the intended recipient of this E-mail,
you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution,
copying, or action taken in relation to the contents of and
attachments to this E-mail is strictly prohibited by federal law
and may expose you to civil and/or criminal penalties. If you have
received this E-mail in error, please notify the sender immediately
and permanently delete the original and any copy of this E-mail and
any printout.

Oh, where to even begin?

For one thing, it doesn’t say I won anything. My email, on the other had, has won 5.6 million pounds. Fat lot of good it will do.

Also: pounds? Microsoft, based in Redmond, Washington, conducts business in pounds? Sure. Whatever.

“Please send these informations.” Uh-huh. Because Microsoft doesn’t have enough money to hire people who use proper grammar.

! Are You Aware!! Um, ?No I’m Am Not ! !!

Why would a message about a Microsoft sweepstakes come from a Prince George’s County, Maryland email address?

Why would the disclaimer refer to said county, and not, oh…I don’t know…maybe Microsoft?

Finally: there is absolutely no such thing as a Microsoft E-Mail Sweepstakes, nor has there ever been, and nor will there ever be. But if you’ve been reading this site for a while, you already knew that one, didn’t you?

Have a good weekend. Stay vigilant. (Also, try grilling corn with garlic butter and without wrapping it in foil if you’re cooking out this weekend. You have to move it around a lot to avoid flare-ups and burnt corn, but dude…seriously, you’ll never do it the old way again.)

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