Valley of Ridiculous Spam Friday

It is unwise to linger overlong on doorsteps in these troubled times, so let’s just get to the spam, already…

Date: Saturday, July 10, 2010 9:36 PM

You have been awarded the sum of E1,625,000.00GBP in the MICROSOFT EMAIL PROMOTION AWARD 2010.Cont Mr Mark Anderson with your names,address,phone and Country to Email: or call +4470-4573-9535 for moreinformation on this award.

If there really was a lottery of this type based in the United Kingdom (.uk), why would the email have been sent from the University of Florida (, and ask you to reply to a Chinese address (.cn)?

Of course, we both know this is a scam, you and me, so we’ll just move on, now, won’t we?

From: Mr. Albert Harry <>
Date: Monday, May 24, 2010 12:41 AM
Subject: I Need Your Corporate Business Assistance!

Dear Sir/Madam,

It’s my great pleasure to seek your help and genuine co-operation to our mutual benefit and I believe that you will not betray me with the trust and confidence i’m about to bestow on you. I am Mr.Albert Harry, procurement manager to SJCM Solid Minerals England (UK). My GM normally send me to Malaysia to purchase a product called Borax Oil Lq, which is use in the purification/cleansing of Gold and Precious Stones Borax Oil Lq is very cheap in Asia Malaysia compare to US and Europe,per carton of the product cost $6,500 USD to $7,000 USD. While in Asia Malaysia it only cost $2,000 USD. per carton and  you will supply to my company at the rate of $3,500 USD Per carton.

Now,I am expecting a promotion to become a branch manager and my GM is mandating a person to represent the company. I do not want my colleague to know the source/actual cost prize of Borax Oil Lq in Malaysia which is $2,000 USD, this is why i am contacting you.I propose the percentage ratio sharing made i.e. $1,500 USD per cartons. 85% for you and 15% for me. Upon your devoted seriousness and willingness to handle this business without betraying me.

I will pass you the contact details of the Malaysian Supplier. You are to act as the main supplier of the Borax Oil Lq in Malaysia to my Company, and you will buy the product from the Malaysian supplier at $2,000 USD.per carton with your capital and re-sell to my Company representative at $3,500 USD.

If you wish to take up this offer, kindly mail me at your earliest time I will furnished you with the next level of proceedings/contact details of the Malaysian distributor as well as that of my company directors to give a quotation.

Please If this business proposition offends your moral and ethic values, do accept my sincere apology.

Best Regards
Mr. Albert Harry

You know what? It does offend me, Mr. Albert Harry, and I don’t accept your apology. Once again, the “” domain shows up.

From: Sr. Douglas Gregg <>
Sent: Monday, July 26, 2010 11:35 AM
To: [removed]
Subject: Your Advise Needed Urgently

I am Sr. Douglas Gregg,

I’m writing to inform you my desire for you to assist me contact a Cooperate Fiduciary Company in United-State, to assist me receive a shipment it contain funds ($31.9Million) in a shipment package.

It was shipped via a Shipping company based in Bern Switzerland to their affiliate vault in (US).

Please email me for more detail.

Awaiting your urgent response.

Sr. Douglas Gregg.

So now you’re trying to get me to believe a bog box o’ cash is waiting for me somewhere? I’m trying to figure out what the setup here is, but I have no doubt it would involve wiring money to Sr. Douglas.

What the heck does the “Sr.” mean when it comes before a name, anyway? Is it supposed to be “Sir?” I’ve never seen that before. I wasn’t aware of the need to abbreviate a three-letter word. I mean, it’s already pretty brief. I like how it’s part of the email address, too.

This concludes our latest batch of emails you should ignore. Not just these specific messages, but anything that looks even a little bit like them.